I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The air taste purple.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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