haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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