I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
