Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
