i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
