I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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