Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
