problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
