Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
