I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
