what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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