I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
