omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize