just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
