whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
