um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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