everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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