Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
