Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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