please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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