hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
