He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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