My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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