I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I see more hoeing in ur future
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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