For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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