Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize