he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
