Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
