Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
