im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
