Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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