need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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