Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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