Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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