I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
