Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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