I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's always time for handjobs
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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