absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
