Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
