Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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