i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize