those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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