Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I did not marry a roomba.
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