"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
