The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
