you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
