I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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