I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
