What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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