And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
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he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
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I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
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