Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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