I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
