Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
