He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize