i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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