He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
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you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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