just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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