I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
