Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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