What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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