I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize